Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

It's not possible to express my gratitude for AP Lang. Although Ms.McMahon aided me in becoming a master of words, simple syllables just aren't enough to encompass the personal growth this past year has provided me. However, in this blog, I'm going to try.

Here I hope you will laugh at failed attempts, smile at successes, and overall enjoy reminiscing in the journey AP Language and Composition has provided me. From the first rhetorical analysis to the final synthesis, from the pitiful first annotation to a novel in the margins. Lang has shaped me as a writer and taught me the value of observing and analyzing our world and seeing beyond the superficiality in the media. 

In more ways than one, H406 has become a second home. It is one of the few classes I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing that felt like a true community, not a classroom. It set the foundation for who I am now, and who I hope to be in the future.

I chose to theme my blog after one of my all-time favorite movies, The Wizard of Oz, because the universal themes inexplicably coincide. AP Lang allowed me to see courage, heart, brain, and more in a whole new light. It's a home, but more than anything, a journey. The yellow brick road to my future.

I leave a better reader, writer, leader, person, and student of whatever the world has to teach me. 

Elton John sang it best, 

"Oh I've finally decided my future lies, Beyond the yellow brick road."

Enjoy the journey.

The Man Behind the Wizard, the Girl Behind the Essay

“I have middle child syndrome.

The day I was diagnosed was the same day my younger sister was born.”

The two lines that began both my narrative and my college essay. Consequently, the two lines that both gave me confidence in writing and served as the catalysts to my future. The narrative I wrote late in December 2018 was my first grand success in Lang. It wasn’t the grade that made that so, however.

Throughout high school I grew accustomed to the classic MLA format. Every essay was to be five paragraphs; no more, no less. Occasionally, I would get my kicks out of neglecting or adding a paragraph, just to shake it up. 

“Woah! Four paragraphs instead of five, how inventive!”

But those limitations, and the fact that I barely just scratched ‘out of the box’ thinking, were holding me back. (E) I needed to find my identity, to showcase the person behind the words I wrote, not get lost in them.

The narrative I wrote around Christmas was the first time I truly broke boundaries. 

I only put pictures of my other essays throughout this blog, but for this one, a picture won’t suffice.

Read it Here

(E) It was liberating to explore a format that wasn’t closed in by paragraphs, or ‘fences’ as Ms.McMahon branded them. I needed to express my thoughts and tell my story in my way. I took a hammer to my paragraphs and dispersed the information. I added dialogue and emphasized my points by secluding them. Overall, I wrote the first essay of my life that I was really, truly proud of. 

I wrote every syllable with purpose, and along the way, learned that (E) only an author who is passionate about their content writes exemplary works. I wrote every word with curiosity, and as my fingers traced the keyboard, I realized the power and legitimacy of the personal growth I had yet to realize I’d experienced. Every sentence I wrote I read ten times over, ensuring it’s perfection and honesty.

(E) The freedom the narrative provided me taught me why it’s so important to write in my own way. 

To write for myself first, and the audience second.

It taught me individuality.

This set the foundation for every essay that succeeded it. It was after this essay that I wrote my (B) annual essay and my college essay- the only two other essays other than my narrative that truly solidify who I am as a writer and human.

One of the biggest benefits AP Lang provided me with was the access to figure out what I am good at. Throughout the year, all of the work we did combined with the incredible leadership of Ms.McMahon allowed all of us students, as individuals, to achieve success in our own areas.

Annotating was the first step into figuring out my individual strengths as it was direct evidence of what my eye automatically caught and manifested upon. (A) While my friends often identified imagery or analogies, my eyes almost always landed on the universal ideas and the diction an author incorporated to create them. These differences split our paths as authors.

(A,B) The student who identified imagery later incorporated it into the forefront of their essays.

(A,B) I, who identified universal ideas and diction, later incorporated those into the forefront of my essays.

I loved finding universal ideas, and I developed a great respect for authors who were able to develop strong central messages without stating them directly. I grew curious of words, and gained a deep admiration for how simple arrangements of letters could drastically change the meaning of an author and create an entire idea in a matter of syllables.

The subtle, stark differences between ‘assigned’ and ‘given’, or ‘scary’ and ‘bone-chilling’.

‘Palliative care’ and ‘hospice’

The narrative I wrote was the first time I had the freedom to develop my own universal themes through words, and it was the first time I got a 9. It wasn't a coincidence, and it wasn't an anomaly.

I write my best when I am given the format and prompt to write my best. I write freely- not in a standard number of paragraphs- and that's okay. It's great, actually.

(E) AP Lang made me a storyteller, and it made me find a lot more value in the person behind the words, rather than the words written by the person.

It taught me respect.

sincerity. creativity. passion.

A Brain Analysis

“You’ll have to write an RA every night for the next two weeks.”

I did my best to keep my body still, assuring that the nodding of my head said “Oh yeah, totally. No big deal.” Meanwhile, I attempted to hide the fact that my brain was setting fires in between my ears and screaming ‘WHAT?!’ at the top of its lungs.

I went into Lang feeling pretty confident in my writing. I received good grades up until that point and took pride in my abilities. However, all of those essays took days if not weeks. (A) Writing a finalized essay every night on top of all my other homework seemed impossible. I spent more time than I’d ever like to admit staring up at the ceiling or down at my paper, wondering if I would ever be able to get the hang of this thing called an RA. I felt helpless and ignorant when I received texts from my friends announcing “Just finished!” and I was still staring at a blank sheet. 

“Why can’t I get this?”

Eventually I was able to overcome the time issue and begin my journey on the road to success in RA. However, my grades showed no progression. I was frustrated that I wasn't improving, and the fact that my grades were static was even more frustrating than when I couldn't finish them on time.

Though I struggled with the original time constraints, I grew to not only be accustomed to RAs, but to thoroughly enjoy them. (A) Rhetorical analysis is the most important thing I learned in Lang all year. Reading renowned authors’ pieces and dissecting them for not just their content, but for how they persuade, directly made me a better writer. The process of creating an argument became so much more elaborate and I was able to tell stories and make my points on a level I’d never explored before. I absorbed the tactics of famous authors and applied them to my own writings. (B)When writing arguments, I used what I learned from writing RAs. (C) When writing Synthesis, I used what I learned from writing RAs. When writing this blog, I used what I learned from writing RAs. (Catch the repetition?)

(A) Rhetorical analysis went beyond preparing me for writing better arguments and synthesis, however. (E) Because of RAs, I understand how to see manipulation in the real world. Now every time I drive passed an MSPCA sign I can’t hold back a mumble, “Pathos…”

Ms.McMahon made it a point at the beginning of the year to tell us how uninformed we were of the current world.

"Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't you think?"

(E) As my phone blew up with notifications from NBC, The Atlantic, BBC, and more, my mind was expanded. (A,E) Rhetorical analysis didn’t only give me a deeper appreciation for past icons, but gave me a new lens to see the world through as well. Never again will I fall for fallacies. 

(B) Because of argument I am a more capable and effective persuader. (C) Because of synthesis I developed as a writer. 

(A) Because of rhetorical analysis, I am a better, and smarter human being

I'll Get You My Pretties...

The tweet.

Everyone in the 2018-2019 AP Lang class quivers at just the thought of it.

We were sitting in H406 on the first day of school, a humid day in early September. My palms were sweating as I looked on at the teacher in front of me, excited for the year ahead but weary about the way her arms crossed across her chest. Eyebrows furrowed, she looked upon the class, eyes scanning over each of our faces one at a time.

See, there was this tweet:

And... none of us replied.

What a way to make a first impression, right? 

Anyway, I sat there, practically shaking as Ms.McMahon interrogated us. 

"Why didn't you respond?"

I looked down to my desk, avoiding eye contact and feeling the heavy weight of shame and embarrassment settling on my shoulders. I tried to fabricate an excuse, but the truth was I had none. No teacher I'd ever had before requested an answer on twitter, and I assumed this was too a rhetorical question, but why?

The brave thing to do would have been to take a risk and respond. Looking back, I would reply in two seconds given the knowledge I have since acquired. However, I am grateful for the 'tweet debacle'. In AP Lang I learned to take calculated risks to become a better writer and person, and getting hit hard with the effects of not taking a risk solidified the reasons why it is so important to take those risks. It reversed the process of cause and effect by first showing us what NOT to do, and the consequences of doing the safe, and most often times, wrong thing.

It had the added bonus of making all of us terrified of Ms.McMahon on day one.

However, time has passed, and some most of that fear has worn off.

"I Shall Take the Heart, For the Brain Does Not Make One Happy"

(A) Rhetorical analysis was eye-opening and over many weeks, made me not only a better reader, but a better writer as well. I was able to dissect the choices of famous authors across the world and learn how to craft a persuasive argument myself using the techniques I had up to a point, only read about.

After months of writing nothing but rhetorical analysis, I felt not only prepared, but desperate to apply the skills I absorbed into writing of my own. (B) Argument came to me then like a gift, relieving me of that anticipation. I was finally able to take the words out of my head and scribble them on a piece of paper. (A,B) I didn't need to highlight repetition and identity ethos appeals in other people's works, I needed to figure out where them into my own essays. Not only did this give me respect for the authors I read in the past that coerced audiences so efficiently, but made me a better writer as well.

However, although I had great gratitude and respect for argument, there was something missing.

My grades were static, and I craved to move forward in my writing.

I struggled to figure out what wasn't working. (A,B) I was applying everything I learned. I built my arguments with a combination of appeals and incorporated every rhetorical device I could that made sense in the context. Sure, argument was new, but I wasn't growing at all and my grades were lower than they were on rhetorical analysis. Why?

I answered my own questions five minutes before I got out of work on a Saturday night. One of my coworkers is a journalism major, and in the midst of writing my annual essay, I took advantage of a particularly dead shift I had with him behind the concession stand. He looked me straight in the eyes after reading over the first draft of my death penalty argument.

"It's really good, but there's no emotion."

I was, in a word, aghast. How could he possibly think that?

But then I read it over. I glossed my eyes over the words, brain astounded by the statistics and legitimacy of the sources of information, and I knew he was right. My brain was fully invested, but my heart remained untouched.

I went home that night and wrote what was arguably the the best essay of my high school career


(B) Lines from one of my favorite paragraphs: "The death penalty puts the beliefs and career objectives of medical professionals at stake by coercing doctors to kill rather than save. Doctors and other health professionals are supposed to save us and to do everything in their power to heal us. To make them kill people is to turn them into everything they are supposed to be against. Forcing a pilot to crash a plane, or a captain to capsize a ship. Medics commit to the Hippocratic oath, promising that they “will keep them from harm and injustice,” and, “will never give a deadly drug to anybody who asked for it” (Tyson, Peter). Yet against everything the oath upholds, almost every state that kills by lethal injection requires that a physician either assist or carry out the execution. Physicians cannot uphold an oath to not harm patients or give a deadly drug when they simultaneously have their fingers wrapped around a potassium chloride-filled syringe.”


(A,B) Applying what I knew from rhetorical analysis into my argument writing was essential and beneficial, but my annual essay taught me that if you aren't passionate about what you're arguing, the reader won't be interested in what you're writing.

The heart is the most important thing in argument, as a passionate writer induces a passionate audience.

(Accurate representation of me leaving Lang this year)
↩

Courage to Fail

(A,B) By mid-february, I was growing comfortable with my rhetorical analysis and arguments. I learned a style and stuck with that style, writing each essay in a similar manner and overall, playing it pretty safe. My grades were stagnant, and while they were good, I craved progression. Taking a risk in writing seemed like the only way to improve, but the thought of straying from what I knew was terrifying. 

(E) However, I continued to grow more sick of my cookie-cutter format. While it seemed to work for me grade-wise, something ached inside of me to just take a leap of faith and do something different- something brave and abnormal. Luckily for me, the curriculum was far from being done, and there was another storm brewing in the distance. 

Enter: Synthesis

 (C) Having written some DBQs in previous classes, this type of essay appeared to be the least intimidating of the three on the exam. I was excited to write an argument in which the documents, and thus main points, were given to me. Easy, right? 

That’s what I thought, until What Makes a Man. 

Complete and utter failure. 

I took a risk by structuring my first synthesis in a new, unusual way, and it was… humbling. 

My thesis read, “Opinions and ideas are fluid, and thus constantly reform and alter into entirely new ideals. The same principle applies to what it means to be a man. Hence, what makes a man is the ability to alter and adapt according to change.” 

Yeah… 

Even I have trouble deciphering what I was trying to write here. I do believe it was courageous to take a risk and flip the question on it’s head, and if anything, the 5 I received allowed me to look back on my writing style and adapt. 

I am so, so glad that I fell on my face on this essay. 

(E,C) The best successes come from the worst failures, and thus What Makes a Man created a foundation for my synthesis writing. (E) I realized the courage required to take a risk and respond to a prompt in an abnormal way is not necessarily the best kind of courage- especially when the essay is a type I’ve never attempted before. The real test of courage was whether or not I could come back from such a failure and continue to improve. The Library synthesis was my chance to prove that I had that courage. 

Total breath of fresh air. 

Now, to be fair, this synthesis was written after we learned how to write synthesis, so it would probably be concerning if my grade went down, but hey, let me have my moment. 

(C) DBQs and Synthesis are entirely different entities. Although they share a similar format, their content could not be any farther apart. (B) A synthesis is an argument, and it took me a while to realize that writing one isn’t solely about incorporating sources, but rather how well sources could be incorporated to persuade and create flow. (A)The grandest epiphany I experienced in Lang was the moment I realized why we wrote rhetorical analysis first. (Yeah, Ms.McMahon knows what she's doing...) Identifying rhetorical devices in the works of other people was the only way to know how to use them in my own works. (B) Argument allowed me to explore how persuasive I could be under my own rules and creativity. (C) However, synthesis took what rhetorical analysis taught me and forced me to incorporate it creativity when the information I had to use was given and not of my own creation. 

(C,E) My original hesitance and ignorance towards the synthesis essay was unarguably a large part in that 5, but the courage it took to take that original risk and then adapt to a new point and an entirely new style outweighed the grade by far

The Tornado

The first multiple choice.

I wish a storm could take those out of my sight.

Coming into Lang, I had what I thought was a good understanding of reading comprehension and overall literacy. However, once I was handed my first Lang multiple choice packet, I knew I was in way over my head. (D)  Overthinking one question and under thinking another, I stumbled my way through what seemed like an endless amount of questions each with five answer choices that all seemed seducing.

When Ms.McMahon declared there was one minute left and I had twelve questions left, well...

Needless to say, improvement was essential. Ms.McMahon assigned us new multiple choice nightly, each time making us document our scores and record any progression. (E) I learned that consistency and repetition are vital in learning and succeeding in anything. So I kept at it.

What I hoped to be an upwards slope turned out to be a flat line. I tried everything to maximize my scores, including using more time than she told us to. Improvement began to represent a futile hope, and I started to accept the fact that multiple choice may just not be my forte. However, it all turned around when I found my secret weapon.

Earplugs.

Ms.McMahon warned us about relying on materialistic items and not our own brains, but in this case, it's not an exaggeration to say that two little pieces of tan foam changed everything for me.

(D) Being able to focus simply on the questions and not on the pencils scratching on my left and the sniffling on my right flipped my grades upside down. So, on I went, no longer desiring simply to pass, but rather to be the best I could possibly be. Multiple choice made me significantly better in reading comprehension, and that progression went far beyond just in Lang. The repetition of multiple choice and the introduction of earplugs impacted my future, including my options for secondary education.





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                            SAT March 2019 →






My improvement was mammoth and sent me down the yellow brick road to the AP exam with a newfound confidence in my abilities.